


Don't You (Forget About Me)

by echo_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Reunions, Warped Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-26 04:33:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10779657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echo_account/pseuds/echo_account
Summary: My Chemical Romance is back together, Warped Tour 2017 is coming up, and Frankie starts feeling... well, feelings, for Gerard.





	1. Airplanes

Monday, May 1st, 2017.

Frank's point of view.

 

The car ride was quiet; the only sounds to be heard was Ray's obnoxious candy corn chewing from beside me, and the static of an untuned radio, which I had since drowned out. Apart from that, it was completely silent.

For this fateful ride, Ray had taken the wheel; for several reasons. One, I couldn't drive a stick shift even if my life depended on it. And two, we were on the way to pick Gerard up from Teterboro, and I was way too fucking excited to be driving down the 1-80 Express at that moment.

Fuck, I was actually going to see Gerard.

I remember the day he'd moved away; about five months after My Chemical Romance had broken up. We hadn't seen each other in the flesh for more than a week since, like, 2013. But now we were back together, and going on Warped Tour in three days, and we'd been spending almost  _too_ much time together. I'd been trying to distract myself from the entire thing altogether, to be honest. I didn't like being on a moving bus 24/7; and I'd be missing Jamia, Miles, Lily and Cherry. So I was thinking of Gerard the whole time. The memories we'd had, how happy I was to be able to see him. Maybe his presence would make the tour bearable. And even if it didn't, he'd probably thinking the same thing, at the same time; not three hours apart like we'd been for the past four years. 

One thought leads to another, though.

_"Fuck, Gerard.." I moaned, gripping the soft skin of his back tightly, probably leaving nasty claw marks, as he thrust into me. "You're so fucking hot, Frankie," He growled, thrusting in again and making me almost reach my climax. I arched my back as he reached my sweet spot and I bit my lip, trying to keep in my moans. After all, we were on a bus..._

"Frank!" 

I snapped out of my daydream quickly, realizing that in fact, it was _not_ Gerard moaning my name, but it was Ray. 

"Uh, yeah?" 

He looked at me as if I was dumb. "We're here, you dumbass!" He complained, pulling the key out and opening his door, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"Oh," I said. 

Ray didn't hear it. He had already shut the door.

I sighed and followed him, feeling a little disappointed I hadn't reached  _that point_  in my daydream so far. But that quickly left me, as I saw the flight times displayed. 

**_Arrivals_ **

**_Los Angeles > New Jersey: LANDED_ **

Ray also noticed this and smiled at me. "He's here, then," He smirked, keys jingling a little as he shoved them into his pocket. "Yeah," I replied, a little breathlessly. Gerard, my best friend, was in the airport. Probably just out of security. 

"What time is it?" Ray asked as we sat in probably the least comfortable seats in the airport. I shrugged; completely worn out by that car ride. It was probably like 7 pm by now, but actually replying to Ray required effort, and I was saving my energy, at least, what I had left, for the car ride back. If I slept then, I wouldn't sleep tonight, and we had our first proper rehearsal tomorrow. Ray pretended to growl and just checked his phone;  _7:14 pm._ His plane had landed at 6:45 pm. Any minute now. 

Ray and I sat in silence for a few more minutes, as I scanned the room in front of us. People were starting to crowd around now, and the first group had just come through the doors. I searched for Gerard's face, looking for that familiar face I hadn't seen in months. Waiting until I was able to bombard through that crowd and just  _fucking hug him._

"Come on," I said to Ray, standing up. "What?" he muttered, not looking up from his iPhone game. "I'm gonna go wait over there,". I didn't get a reply; although the most I expected from Ray was probably just a murmur, because I was already halfway across the room. 

No Gerard. Suitcases, shiny shoes, and businessmen men flowed out of the gates. Knowing him, though, he'd have taken economy; even _premium_  if he was feeling particularly douchey. I didn't know what to expect. He was probably wearing skinny jeans and a t-shirt, unshaved, sunglasses. Tiny suitcase. But, I really didn't give a fuck. It was Gerard. My best friend.

Minutes passed, and for a second I thought he'd never come out, or he'd been caught with drugs at the gate - which would be hilarious, mind you - but we didn't really need an international drug scandal on our hands 72 hours before Warped Tour. I sighed and looked back at Ray, who was... smiling. 

That meant one thing. 

"FRANKIE!" 

"GERARD!" 

There he was, with his suitcase and, as predicted, dark sunglasses, rushing towards me. I ran towards him.. closer..closer..there. 

I threw myself into his arms, feeling the warmth of his chest, arms embracing me tighter than anyone had in years. He smelt like coffee and something chemically, as soft as a teddy bear. Tears prickled at my eyes as I felt his cup my cheek and look down at me, smiling wide. "I missed you, Frankie." 

"I missed you too, Gee." 


	2. Dear Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard's back in New Jersey, Warped Tour's about to begin and Frankie just can't stop remembering all those damn scenes.   
> What better to do than write them down where Gerard can find them?

_Monday_

_Dear Diary,_

_Gerard got back in last night. Warped Tour's coming up! I'm not that excited for the tour bus, but seeing the fans will be cool. Ray's asleep, and we're at his house right now right now. Jamia didn't want everyone around and Kristen's having a baby right now. I'm in his office, Gerard's doing something quiet somewhere else._

_I've been some thoughts though. I can't stop thinking of our relationship we had a few years ago. I mean, it only lasted a couple weeks, and to be fair, Jamia did cheat on me soon afterward. When I saw Gerard at the airport though, it all came flooding back to me._

_I'm trying to ignore everything. I mean, I have Jamia! I mean, just cause he's hot -_

"Hey, Frankie," 

My writing was interrupted by a voice from over my shoulder and I slammed the book shut; almost a little more suspicious than it could have been. Gerard frowned down at me. "What was that?" he asked. I hesitated, not really knowing what to say. "Uh - uh, just a song I'm working on," 

"For MCR?"

"Um, no, actually my band," 

"Oh. Okay." 

"So, Warped Tour, huh?" 

Gerard nodded. "Haven't been outta L.A for fucking months now," Gerard said, "It'll be good to get out of the house for a while. I mean, you've just come outta tour yourself," 

This time it was my turn to nod. "Yeah," I said nervously, trying not to remember the accident from Sydney, months ago now, but still shook me up a little. Gerard saw this and placed a hand on my shoulder supportively. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. I'll be there the whole time," He grinned. I smiled back, looking up into his eyes. Beautiful eyes...

"It's getting late. I should be getting to bed," Gerard added, taking his hand away and shoving it in the pocket of faded gray sweatpants "You staying over?" 

I shrugged, honestly not knowing what to do. "Is there even a spare bed? Ray's asleep.."

"We could always share one,"

There was no way that was happening. With all these memories flooding back, the thought of me sharing a fucking bed with Gerard made me flustered. "Uh.. maybe, not tonight, Gerard.." I said, trying to be casual - failing miserably, of course. Gerard raised an eyebrow but nodded gently. "Okay then. Let me walk you out, still live around the corner, right?" 

I nodded, rising from the desk chair and walking out of the room, a little further apart from Gerard than usual. I sighed. These thoughts were really taking a toll on me. Gerard turned to me when we reached the door, and smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, Frankie," he said softly, as I made my way down the steps. 

I turned back, smiling, heart singing. Secretly, I loved it when Gerard called me that. It made me feel special.

"Bye, Gerard," I replied, grinning. "I missed you."

The last part was quiet, as if an afterthought, and I wasn't sure that Gerard had quite heard it or not. But I didn't get a reply.

I was halfway down the driveway before Gerard could say a word. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a writing mood. Feedback is helpful :)  
> This is short, but next chapter might be long as I'm gonna go to bed.


	3. Pillowtalk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warped Tour is in two days, Frank is feeling things, and Gerard suspects something involving the diary.

 

Tuesday May 2nd 2017

Gerard's point of view

 

I sighed and clambered into Ray's guest bed; it was in the basement and it was the middle of winter so it wasn't too warm, but Ray had already passed out. Besides, getting up required using energy, and trust me, I'd wasted that all on the plane ride here.

I tried to think about the tour rolling up quick; how we'd officially announce the reunion, how much the audience would scream when Ray played the fateful G Minor note on the piano, in just two days time, in Seattle. However, tonight my mind had drifted off to other things. Many irrelevant things, in fact.

Frank had been acting weird tonight, I thought to myself. He was usually so comfortable around me. Was it because we hadn't seen each other? Or was he just nervous for the tour? Whatever it was, I hoped it didn't interfere with the upcoming shows. 

Then I wondered about something; else - the book. Frank had always been so open about his lyrics, why not now? Surely it would be released, so of course, I'd hear it. He'd always shown me his lyrics; even the crappy ones, _especially_ the good ones. The way he slammed that book, though. It had to be something Frankie didn't want me knowing about. A diary, maybe? Oh, come on. I'd seen his diary. I doubt Frank wouldn't want me to see "today I went to the zoo" or something like that. Was he hiding something? No, of course not. He'd just released a new album, he'd finished tour - wait.

Did he not want My Chemical Romance to reunite?

Fuck, was that it?

I mean, come on. When I'd mentioned it, he'd been so excited. More excited than I'd ever seen him. Well, except for when he see dogs. But that's different. When Frank disagreed with something, he'd speak his mind. The boy knew what he wanted and didn't want, a good decision maker, too. So what was bothering him? Had I done something?  
  


Ugh, all these questions - I was supposed to be planning the tour, not stressing myself out with unneeded drama. It could be nothing. It really could be.

But, however, by the end of the night, no matter how hard I tried to resist the urge, I knew what I had to do.

I had to find that diary. And soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this instead of a 42-page extra-credit assignment I have to do.  
> Pray for me.  
> Also, hope you are enjoying the fic so far :)


	4. Stereo Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With one last rehearsal in Frank's basement before Warped Tour 2017 begins and the MCR reunion is officially announced, Gerard's little 'plan' needs to come into action - and soon.

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

Gerard's point of view

Ray and I arrived at the stoop of Frank's home; and although it was just around the corner, it was much different than Ray's. But for one, it had a good studio, and that's exactly what we needed for this rehearsal to work.

"Mikey's on his way over, I'm guessing?" Ray asked, glancing at me almost nervously, as he rung the doorbell. I nodded. Kristen had had the baby last night, according to Mom. Too bad he wouldn't have a father for a few months. 

"Hey," Frank said, grinning as he opened the screen door. "Heya," Ray said cheerily, heading in. "Yo," I added, which made Frankie smile. At least he was in a good mood, seeming less nervous than yesterday. 

"Jamia not home?" Ray asked as we headed downstairs, to the studio. We'd been to this house so many times we knew the place upside down. "Yep," Frank replied, "Went to the movies with the kids,". 

"Gonna miss them, I guess?" I added, entering the dimly lit room of the studio. This room was a pride of Frank's; dark oak floor, black canvas walls covered in movie posters and portraits, the odd painting of mine here and there. In the corner was a rack of three guitars; one of them being his current favorite; which on video call a few weeks ago, he'd told me was an Epiphone Wilshire. Along with the instruments, there were about six stools, with chord sheets on metal poles, and two short microphones. Frank had recorded a lot of his recent songs in this room, which made it feel more comfortable. 

This tour wasn't going to be a lot of 'new songs'. We were just playing the favorites off our albums, which mainly consisted off  _The Black Parade_  (The End is my favorite, personally) but we'd added a few of the classics from _Three Cheers_ and just one from _Danger Days._  

"Yeah," Frank sighed, as if treasuring an old memory; when really, their mess was probably just meters away. I'd already said goodbye to Bandit and Lyn-Z, but I pitied Frank because he'd just come from a tour himself. Me? I hadn't left in months. 

I still hadn't forgotten about the diary, though. I was slowly formulating a plan; even as we waited for Mikey to arrive, going through some old riffs and song lyrics, vamping ourselves up for five straight months of shows. I didn't let it distract me too much, though, after all, Frankie _did_ seem better today. 

"Mikey!" Ray cheered, as a door burst open from behind me. "Congrats on the baby, little bro," I grinned as he dumped his bag down and plonked on a stool next to me. "Thanks, Gee, good to see you," He mumbled breathlessly, giving me a tight hug from behind before plonking down on a stool next to me. Bob wasn't with us; he was somewhere in Texas somewhere, and wouldn't be joining us for the tour, but Frank had a drum backing track ready to go and a line of substitute drummers (including Josh Dun) for when the tour began.

Mikey told us about the baby - her name was Jaime, before we stuck our heads into the music, Frankie strumming the first chords to Na Na Na Na. 

***

Two hours of rehearsal later, it was finally time to stop. "Fuck," Ray muttered, as we finished playing 'I'm Not Okay' and all sighed breaths of relief. I took a sip from a water bottle I'd miraculously found under my bed, releasing the microphone from my grip and swallowing hard. Fuck, I hadn't sung most of those songs in ages, and four years of new albums and forgotten chords had taken their toll on me. Some of the songs at the start of the tour would be rough, but I doubt the audience would even hear us over their screaming.

"Let's go upstairs," Frank said, a little breathless himself from his intense guitar playing. No one really had the energy to reply vocally but managed to nod slowly and stand up. 

The diary. I hadn't forgotten. In fact, in House of Wolves, I'd almost said it a few times. Where would Frank be keeping it? But also, how would I manage to look for it without looking like a creep?

The realization that I might not be able to find the diary at all was slowly dawning on me, but I was distracted with alcohol Frank offered me (a rarity in his household, he'd admitted). Cracking open beers with the others honestly felt like the old days. 

Fuck.

The old days. 

_"Mmhh, that's so... so fucking good, Frankie," I moaned, tangling fingers in his long black hair as his grip around my calfs tightened and more of me went inside of him. "Mm- mh," muffled sounds erupted from down below, less frequently as I slowly reached my climax. "Keep - mmh - going, ahh, Frankie.." I moaned, stroking his shaking head gently as he sucked like no one was watching. It came closer, and closer.... and finally -_

"Gerard?"

I quickly turned to Ray, who seemed to be the one talking. "Oh, huh?" 

" _I said_ , are you looking forward to the tour?"

"Oh, yeah.." I muttered, trying not to seem flustered as suddenly my brain imploded with memories. I was a little disappointed he'd interrupted me before.. well, _that part._

Ray nodded, turning to Mikey and saying something I was unsurprisingly distracted by. 

The relationship, the affair - it was all coming back to me. And suddenly, I felt hot. Tight in the pants. Frankie wasn't looking at me; thank God. I didn't a clue what Mikey was going on about now, as much as I tried to distract myself from the bulge in my pants, but one thing was for sure.

I needed to take care of it.

"Uh, I'm going to the bathroom, be right back," I stuttered, standing from the couch rather quickly and shuffling to the bathroom. It was at the other end of the house, thankfully, but still, I had to try and keep my mouth shut. It wasn't like I hadn't had experience before; I mean, I'd _been_ on tour before.

I made it to the bathroom and jacked off swiftly and roughly, trying to think of nice things like Lyn-Z or _even_ fucking Jamia. No Frankie. This would be a long and difficult tour if I had. 

I made my way back to the lounge room where the others were when something on what I supposed to be the office-desk caught my eye as I walked past. It was the diary from last night.. with some very interesting entries.

It was the diary from last night.th some very interesting entries.

With some very interesting entries.

Oh, this tour was going to be a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 Kudo! Thank you so much, I appreciate it.   
> I hate leaving things (especially fanfic) unfinished so expect frequent updates for the next few hours!   
> It's about 9 pm on a Tuesday and I'm pretty tired, but this story is interesting to write so let's do this!


	5. It's Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warped Tour is tomorrow.  
> Of course, Gerard has to feel things, too.

Tuesday, May 3rd 2017

Frank's point of view

 

"Yeah, but anyway -"

Ray was interrupted abruptly by a stumble from the doorway. It was Gerard, face flushed, unwilling to make eye contact with me. "Uh, I-I, need to... go," he stammered, quickly gathering his backpack and art supplies from the couch, next to Ray. Gerard didn't look up, not saying anything else, just slinging the bag over his shoulder rather urgently, and headed to the door, slamming the door behind.

Ray and Mikey slowly turned to me, each looking confused. "What the fuck was that?" Mikey asked. I shrugged. It was unusual for Gerard to be nervous, I always knew his as confident. The... _thoughts_ had nearly disappeared now, Warped Tour was only about 12 hours away and it was different for me to have this much pressure. "Maybe he's just stressed," I mumbled. "Eh, probably," Ray replied, sighing. "I mean, we're announcing our band's reunion tomorrow," he'd added, then beginning a rant about how much this tour was going to mean to us. A new era. Probably my biggest life change since starting the band... and the accident, of course. But for Gerard, he'd never really had a big life change since the breakup, apart from maybe a few comic releases. That was nothing compared to what lay ahead of us, though. The media would go crazy. I imagined all those fans reactions as we stormed onto the stage. It wouldn't be surprising if some fainted. 

Of course, those thoughts weren't completely gone. If anything, they were afterthoughts, and I'd prefer to think of them rather than tour. I bet it would all change once it started, though. Sharing a bus with Gerard. Sharing bunks...

_Gerard pinned me against the cool steel of the bus, breath swirling between our close faces as he whispered into my ear. "Can't wait for tonight, Frankie," he'd hissed, grinding slightly against me; I felt his hard-on from under his jeans and he would probably be able to feel mine, my dick already leaking by the kisses he'd left on my neck. "You're supposed to be on vocal rest," I growled back, smirking slightly. "Who said I'm on moan rest?" He shot back, winking. By that time I had basically came in my pants. We couldn't drag it out further than that, though, as we still had a show in minutes and having to go on stage with a boner would be my worst nightmare. After all, I had the engagement ring for Jamia..._

"Fucking hell, Frank," Mikey muttered, shaking his head. That brought me back to real life; I quickly looked up at him. 

"You've been acting weird lately," Ray said, searching my face as if I had a sign pinned to my forehead stating the reason. I didn't, and they both just looked at me expectantly. I hesitated before answering. If either of them had any idea of what I'd just been thinking about My Chemical Romance would just become awkward and the tour would just be a complete flop. "Just stress," I said simply. They both sighed. "Well that makes four of us," Mikey muttered. 

"I should get going, actually," Ray finally said, breaking the silence as he checked his watch. It would have had to be least 6 pm, and due outside that tour bus at 6 am sharp tomorrow morning. Mikey agreed, claiming he had to go off to the hospital, to check on Kristen and Jaime, the baby. "See you tomorrow!" the younger Way brother exclaimed, waving goodbye as he turned the door handle. "Bye," Ray said, and I waved my goodbyes. We stood up from the couch, Ray slinging his bag over his shoulder, before nodding. "See you later, Frankie," he mumbled, heading off towards the door. "Get some sleep," I reminded him, and Ray grinned mischievously before a wave of his hand sent himself off, clomping down the steps and down, into the streets of a sunsetting New Jersey. 

"Goodbye," I whispered. 

Sighing, I shut the door and leaned against it, sliding down with my knees against my chest. Why did I have to get myself into this mess right before the tour? Why wouldn't I be imagining our glorious sex scenes from years ago when Gerard wasn't forced to spend every hour with me, in a sweaty tour bus?

I just wished, with all my life, that Gerard wasn't thinking the same thing. 

Because we'd all be damned if we were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 Kudos? Thanks. I've never even gotten a view on Wattpad before this.  
> Enjoy :)


	6. Warped, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first morning of Warped Tour and the reunion is to be announced tonight.  
> Will Gerard and Frank's seemingly inevitable ruin this concert?   
> Or will they miraculously disappear when they're forced to share a bunk?

The First Day of Warped Tour

Frank's point of view

  


Gerard and Mikey came into view, trudging around the corner with barely enough light from the rising sun to illuminate their faces. Ray and I were stood outside the tour bus, talking about how awkward it could have been if a fan had seen us out here. Our conversation stopped as the brothers reached us, sighing in unison as we all gazed upon the monster upon us. 

"Come on, boys! We're leaving right now!" Spencer, our bus driver, called from inside. Of course, the Ways were late. Ray glared at them. "What?" Mikey said innocently. "Nice try, hurry up," I muttered, totally sleep-deprived.

Gerard and Mikey smirked, shoving their bags inside the bottom of the bus, slamming it shut and joining Ray and me on the bus. It was exactly like all of our others had been; four bunks, a tiny-ass kitchen, shower, and toilet the size of a toilet (although none of us would use it anyway) and one little lounge at the back. Of course, there was one thing we'd been looking for. "Came prepared," mumbled Ray, opening a cupboard he'd obviously been in before anyone had arrived; pulling out a small coffee maker. "Fuck yes," Mikey practically moaned, as we all rushed towards it and frantically set it to brew. "Thanks, tour Mom," Gerard sneered, earning a laugh from Mikey and me, a glare from Ray. "You have been tour-Mom for, like, all the other tours, Ray," Mikey said, plonking himself down on the low couch across from the kitchen. "True," Gerard said, sitting beside him and pulling out his phone, pulling his oversized, gray hoodie above his nose and sporting sweater paws. It was freezing on the bus, honestly, but fuck, I didn't, all I needed was coffee. 

The bus pulled out of the stop after we'd all poured a mug each, Ray automatically filling it up and brewing another pot. "Fuck, thank god," Gerard shivered, practically inhaling his coffee. I took a long drink of savoring the cheap coffee flavour and feeling it warming my bones. Fuck, if this is what that little pot could produce then I could live on this bus for years; sex thoughts of my best friend and all. Ray obviously felt the same way, pouring himself another mug before the little bubble inside could even stop bubbling. 

This coffee session went on for several minutes, I ended up having two mugs sitting on the bench, then taking my third one and sipping it occasionally as we chose our bunks. "Dibs this one!" Mikey yelled, clambering up to the top right bunk. Ray went for the bottom bunk below that, he was bigger and didn't like sleeping on top, which left me and Gerard to choosing ourselves. He shrugged and went for the bottom bunk, and I ended up with the top. Fine with me. 

Honestly, it was going good so far. Coffee, a bed, and the thoughts hadn't really come to mind yet. Mikey was asleep within five minutes, and Ray was too. I didn't know what Gerard was up to, but I finished off my coffee, put down my phone, and just went to sleep, still in my shoes and jeans and hoodie. 

Philidelphia, here we come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is developing nicely, and I'm in a writing mood.   
> Except frequent updates tonight ;)  
> This chapter is short, I know, but I'll be writing more.


	7. Fun Thoughts (Smut Warning)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are on the bus, heading to their first stop of Warped Tour.  
> Stress is taking over; but luckily Gerard has another thing to think about.  
> (Smut flashbacks occur)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is smut in this.  
> No, I did not cringe a lot. *wink*  
> Enjoy, fuckers :)

 

Gerard's point of view

Ray barely glanced at me as he clambered into his bunk, looking particularly zombie-like, with his empty mug of coffee and hood of his gray sweatshirt up, a few loose curls hanging through. He pulled the curtain shut, probably about to sleep for another twelve hours. Fuck, if it wasn't for this coffee I had to finish (I mean unless I wanted to spill scalding hot liquid over me after every speed bump) I would probably be asleep now, too. 

It wasn't too long after, when Mikey and Frank trudged past, on their way to their own bunks. I heard the thuds as Mikey slipped into his own bed of warmth and starchy sheets; and felt the weight of Frankie from above now, too. There was a small sound as both curtains were pulled shut, but I heard nothing else. Philidelphia was about 55 miles away, and that left us practically a whole day of rehearsal, sound checks, and having to hide from unsuspecting fans. 

I drained the last of my coffee, shoving it somewhere (I couldn't be bothered getting up) and rolling over, pulling my curtain shut. I hadn't been on a bus bunk like this in years; or a single bed, even a _bus_ , really. The faint scent of gasoline and the sound of static overpowering whatever Johnny Cash song was playing on the buses radio up front, it brought back memories.

Oh, and fuck, those ones.

I mean, everyone was probably asleep now. There was no really no stopping it though. Once the idea was in my brain, I couldn't let it go; I was in probably the same bunk as the events years ago. Apart from the stress of the tour and missing my family, it was either that or those constant suicide thoughts I'd been getting lately.

Eh, we were getting back together. I don't think death would be a helpful option for the other boys... sex thoughts it is.

I lay back, facing the ceiling with hands crossed on my chest, sighing and letting the memories wash over me. And fuck, they came fast.

 _"That was fucking amazing," I said breathlessly, pulling off my sweaty Black Parade jacket after a long show, in Baltimore._  
"Not as good as you were last night," Frankie replied, winking. Oh, that whore.  
"Oh, you eager then? I was thinking of skipping tonight," I sighed.  
Frank knew I was playing dumb. "Nice try, princess," He said. "My bunk. Tonight."  
"You got it, baby,"  
And, as I promised, I was there, waiting in Frankie's bunk after his shower.  
"Why hello there," he slurred, pulling back the curtain. He was in a loose white t-shirt and black sweatpants; no underwear, being the kinky man he is.   
I had been sprawled out across the bed, gently stroking up and down my dick, but not carrying anything out because I knew Frankie would give me one thousand times better. He wasn't dominant; but, fuck, neither was I, but he was better at giving blowjobs, and I was better at shoving my dick up his ass. We'd barely explored kinks, although I'd tied him up a few times, and sipped chocolate syrup out of his collarbone, but still, our affair was nothing short of spectacular.  
"Baby," I cooed, pulling him inside and pulling the curtain shut. Frankie straddled my chest as he slowly undid my buttoned white shirt; giving me a long, sloppy kiss on the neck before delving further and placing hickeys all across my chest and ribs. No neck; they would be too difficult to cover up during shows. I sported other hickeys; the ones Lyn-Z had given me, but fuck, she wasn't with me, and obviously, I wasn't just gonna announce this affair and break up with her from halfway across the world by showing a few careless love bites on stage.   
"'Mm, Frankie, you're so good to me," I moaned, tearing his shirt off as he finally sat up from my chest. I traced the inked skin across his stomach and chest carefully, sitting up a little and letting Frankie slide into my lap. The movement caused his ass to rub against my dick, and fuck, if it was even possible in this situation, I'd just gotten harder.  
"Excited, are you?" Frankie teased, smiling and licking his lip ring before unexpectedly reaching out and palming me through my jeans.  
"Ugh, just touch me, mhh- Frankie," I groaned.   
"I'd be  inside of you if you had less clothes on," he slurred, fingering the belt of my jeans and glancing up through those gorgeous, lustful eyes mischievously. I nodded and Frankie began to unbuckle my belt and slide off my jeans, lifting his hips a little in order to lower them below my knees. When he sat back down, he grinded against my thigh just the tiniest bit, and I released a long, high-pitched moan.   
Frankie smirked and grinded against me once more, obviously enjoying the sounds I was making by the way the bulge in his sweatpants got harder and bigger against my hip bone.   
"No fair you get clothes on," I pouted, glancing down at his clothed legs and back up at him.   
"Yeah, alright, baby," he said, taking them off unbearingly slowly and lowering his black boxers just the tiniest bit. I could see the outline of his hard-on and smirked, not having time to even say anything before he pushed me back against the pillow and cupped my cheeks, kissing me yet still grinding slowly against my own dick.  
"You little tease," I moaned against his soft lips, feeling a small smirk before he leaned back.   
"Touch me, already, Frankie," I groaned, hooking a finger around the waistband of his boxers, staring him straight in the eye; as seductively as I could.   
"You want me to touch you, Gee?" Frank slurred, peeling my finger away and dropping it precariously on top of the bulge in my underwear.  
"Fuck yes.. Frankie.." I begged arching my back away from the headboard as he slipped just one finger of his own onto the length of my dick, stroking it ever so gently.   
"Mmh... f-feels so good, baby," I moaned. Frank was definitely taking dominance right now - but I bet you, tomorrow he'd be just as submissive as yesterday. "Wanna make you come, Gee," he whispered hastily and dirtily into my ear, recieving a smirk from me. I earned myself a hand wrapped around my dick.  
"That sounds good, baby," I said back, a breath hitching in my throat as Frank slowly began to move his hand a little.   
"Jack you off right now, baby?"   
"Y-yes, please, don't stop,"  
"I'll never stop," Frankie said, suddenly. His hand stopped moving.  
"I love you, Frankie," I said, voice cracking a little.  
"I'll never stop loving you, Gerard,"


	8. The Black Parade Is Dead! (For now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reunion is announced tonight, and finally, the boys are in Philadelphia.  
> What will this night bring to the boys?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm, not sure for what this chapter will be.  
> Might be short.  
> Enjoy :)

Frank's point of view

 

The bus pulled into the Philadelphia venue six hours before the show started. I hadn't slept a wink but I'm sure the other boys had, judging by the way they less-than-enthusiastically rolled out of their bunks and trudged to get their luggage and instruments for rehearsal. 

For this part we had to be careful; if we drew attention to ourselves the fans, or even other performers, would see us and the secret would be revealed before Warped Tour even officially began. Gerard had put on dark sunglasses and a cap, Ray had tied back his curls to underneath his hoodie, and Mikey and I had security guards all around us. 

We'd gathered our luggage and rushed out to the back door somewhere, shielding our eyes from the early morning sun and listening out for screaming fans. "It's too early.." Ray groaned, once we were inside our studio and had dumped our bag inside. "I fucking know," Mikey grumbled, collapsing onto one of the couches and yawning. "Get ready, boys." our manager said from the door; I nodded but secretly made a face at Ray. He shut the door before going off to tell some other band shit. "The show's six hours away and I'm running on two hours sleep," I muttered, stretching out on the couch, next to a nearly-asleep Mikey, leaning my head in his lap. "Like fuck, man," Gerard added, lighting a cigarette, from the corner.

_The Black Parade Tour._

"The thing is we have like three months of this," he said, before taking a long drag and watching the smoke swirl in front of him.

_His breath when he'd pinned me against that bus._

"Don't even get me started," grumbled Ray, selecting his guitar from the stand, plugging into an amp and sleepily tuning it. I grabbed my own but sat on the couch, nudging Mikey to plug the amp in and I strummed a few chords to what I remembered to be the first song;  _The Black Parade,_ but only the first part. The second part would come at the end. Then a shitload of flags, Gerard screaming out that we were reuniting, blah blah blah. 

Mikey started tuning soon after, but Gee couldn't do anything; he was on vocal rest until the show started. 

_"Moan-rest."_

I couldn't seem to get the chords right, and I kept fucking up the riff. Ray was playing like a champ beside me, and Mikey was lighting up the whole room with his bass, Gerard's _phone brightness_ lighting up the soundbooth, literally, but no, I just couldn't concentrate.

"You alright?" Mikey asked, not looking up from his bass but adjusting the volume on his amp the tiniest bit. I huffed and stopped playing, nursing my sore fingers in between my legs and turning to look at him. "I'm not ready for tonight, man," I muttered. "I haven't played these songs in years! And, uh, I've got a lot on my mind," Mikey nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I think we're all the same. We have a few hours. Go to another studio if you want, you and Gerard can share the soundbooth." he said. I shook my head, trying not to look flustered. Sharing a soundbooth with Gerard. No fucking way. "Eh, alright then," Mikey shrugged, going back to playing  _Helena_ on his perfectly-tuned bass. I observed for a few seconds, before glancing up at Ray for advice. He was really into  _Na Na Na Na_ right now though, and interrupting him on his guitar would be like pouring gasoline and a match in an active volcano. I sighed to myself, looking back at my calloused fingers and guitar, then getting on with it and beginning to play _Dead!_

It was 4pm when we had to go on and at 3:30, we got changed into the Black Parade outfits.

_"Fucking touch me, Gerard,"_  
"Through your pants?"  
_"Fuck, I don't care, just make me come and I'll wear them through the show, I don't care,"_

"Fuck, you can hear them," Mikey mumbled, as we wandered down some empty hallway on the way to the toilets. "It's Panic, isn't it?" I said, listening out. "Yep," Ray replied. I could definitely hear Brendon's voice now, and no doubt most of his fans would be fans of ours. Fall Out Boy was due to go on after us, and Twenty One Pilots had just been on before Panic; they had been the opening act. "It's the Emo Trinity," Mikey said, answering my question. "So hopefully they'll know who we are," Ray chuckled, as we turned into the bathroom. 

I got changed quickly, as I heard another song end and  _I Write Sins Not Tragedies_ came on. A huge roar erupted from the crowd, and I heard Ray and Mikey snigger. "That'll be us, soon," I reminded them. 

Gerard wasn't in here, he'd got changed before, and was probably doing vocal warmups somewhere else in the buildings. I doubt he'd need them, though. One G minor note and a word from him would probably set the crowd off so loud we couldn't hear ourselves think. I remembered that last show in Mexico, how the audience had reacted to  _The Black Parade._

 _"That was a good show, Frankie," Gerard slurred._  
"Our last, for a while at least," I said, wrapping an arm around his waist gently and pulling him in for a kiss. We didn't go anything further than this. It was just long, and slow, passionate and full of love. No strings attached. Just two beings being in love.   
A love that would end that week, when we went our separate ways after the tour's end.   
There was no more 'action' from us.   
That kiss had been the last kiss we'd even shared, me and Gerard. 

I suddenly got a little sniffly, wiping my eyes quickly as I heard a cubicle door unlock. I emerged from mine, meeting Mikey in the aisle and smiling softly at him. "Fuck, let's go," he sighed. 

"Wait for me!" Ray called.

"Yeah, yeah." we muttered in unison, bursting into laughter. Ray chuckled from inside and emerged. This was the first time we'd been in these jackets for years. "It's been ages," Ray said, reading my mind, as we exited the bathroom and began our trek towards the studio.

By this time it was 3:45, on in fifteen minutes, and Panic, who by what we heard was on  _Impossible Year,_ was coming off in ten. That gave us five minutes for the most subtle hallway sound check we could manage, before we marched onto the stage with the G note ringing in our ears. 

 


	9. The Black Parade is Alive!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a shit ton of screaming from the crows and consensual moans from Gerard, love thoughts from Frank and just the typical yelling from Ray and Frank.  
> The Black Parade is back.  
> MILD TRIGGER WARNING - Some of the thoughts Frankie emits (about love, betrayal etc.) in this may trigger some people. No suicide is mentioned, but 'depressed' is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm off school right now and I'm excited to write this chapter. Also, someone bookmarked this, and I'm proud of myself.

 

Frank's point of view

 

Gerard had been quiet for a while. But it wasn't just because of his vocal rest.

Years ago, he'd have been texting us or putting up signs, nowadays he was just kinda silent, and as we returned to the studio to an eyeliner-applying Gerard, I just really hoped it was because he was concentrating on the show ahead of us.

"Hurry up, you dingus," Mikey said, grabbing his bass and amp, unplugging it carefully but making sure he didn't accidentally mess anything up. A soundcheck in an echoey hallway with a bunch of unsuspecting fans outside isn't the best time or place to have to tune again. Gerard nodded and smudged his makeup one last time, perfecting his hair and trailing on behind us. I gripped my guitar so tightly my knuckles turned white, leaning against the concrete brick wall of the hallway with butterflies in my stomach as we reached the stage door. Panic was already off and there were four minutes left until we'd be on. Ray looked back at me, looking a little nervous but excited for the show. I also realized that I hadn't eaten anything today, just drunken like 3 liters worth of coffee. 

But it was too late now; because before I knew it, the door had opened and the people ran in to grab our stuff and set it up. We wanted this to be special; just a single G note to let them know that it was us. Not three minutes of fumbling around with shit.

We'd stepped back as the light flooded in, the audience's screams becoming more louder. They ran on stage with our shit, my guitar going to the left of the stage before the doors were slammed shut again and we were left in the dimly-lit hallway, counting the seconds until we were due on. 

"Thirty seconds," Mikey whispered, from the back. I felt my stomach tighten in a knot and my fingers turned in fists, listening to the crowd intensely, trying my hardest to focus on my entrance. The sun was setting now and the stage would be dark, we wouldn't be seen if we crept out from the back. 

That's exactly what they told us to do as the doors opened once more and I saw Gerard stumble through.

The audience screamed, but not as loud as they could have been, as they hadn't seen us creep through. Gerard and Ray stayed at the stage door, however, as they were on the right, Mikey and I went to the right. This 'subsitute drummer' who apparently didn't have a big name, was already up there, but those lights were dim and really, the crowd would be focusing on us.

But then it happened, and then, what we all thought could be impossible, happened.

G Note.

We stormed on stage, as the crowd went fucking mental. Gerard marched to the front, and I grinned at Ray, on the right, Mikey just out of my line of sight but still beaming at me. Gerard tore the microphone off it's stand and started screaming the lyrics. He let them sing by themselves, probably to catch his breath, as Ray played the very first riff, and the drummer, whoever it was, starting pounding on them. 

_"Because one day, I'll leave you, a Phantom, to lead you in the Summer, to join the Black Parade - fucking sing, it!"_

Then _the_ guitars sounded, and I moved across the stage to go to Mikey for a little bit, Gerard still screaming the lyrics, and I fucking played like no one was watching. 

_"He said son when, you grow up, would you be, the saviour of broken, the fucked and, the damned - RIGHT! NOW!!!"_

That's when I went fucking crazy, tearing through the song and watching the crowd scream and gasp and fucking sing. Ray's fingers were a blur and Mikey's bass was just fucking  _incredible,_ and Gerard's screaming lyrics just reminded me, of all those many years, when we were young and fucked, like we didn't know what love was. Then we'd go back to a bunk at night, and all the lyrics didn't seem to matter, I felt as if I was betraying The Black Parade, for taking part in something so enjoyable like this. 

First half of the song done.  
And fuck, here comes the rest of the album.

_"And though you're dead and gone believe me-"_

I had betrayed her. I'd be betrayed Jamia, I'd betrayed everything.

_"Your memory will carry on -"_

I had been depressed during the affair, but now that they were all flooding back, how could I possibly fucking expect this tour to be good?

_"...A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams, your misery and hate will kill us all -"_

How could My Chemical Romance keep going?

 _"..Let's shout it loud and clear -_  
Defiant to the end we hear the call,  
To carry on.."

But everything was too late. I couldn't be here. Gerard, standing just five meters away, was killing me inside, without him even knowing it. I'd fucked up everything. I really fucking had. I loved him. 

_"...and though you're broken and defeated,  
your weary widow marches,"_

If I could have stopped playing right there and then, ran back home to the arms of my family, I would of. But I couldn't. Somehow this angst and frustration -  the feeling of _a new love_ , for the first time in years, made me play harder and louder and for seconds I felt like crossing the stage over to Gerard and doing something, just _something_ with him. 

Stop singing, Gerard.

_"...Take a look at me cause I could not care at all.."_

Please. 

_"Do or die, you'll never make me  
Because the world will never take my heart,"_

You'll never love me.

_"Go and try, you'll never break me  
We want it all, we wanna play this part,"_

I am better than her.

_"I won't explain or say I'm sorry -"_

You never did.

_"I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scars  
Give a cheer for all the broken -"_

_I'm_ the broken, Gerard.

 _"Listen here, because it's who we are_  
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero,"  


But you can't do anything, about it, can you?

_"..just a boy, who had to sing this song,  
I'm just a man, I'm not a hero -"_

You love _her_.

_"I -"_

I.

_"Don't -"_

Love.

_Care -"_

You. 

But I couldn't say it. Just like that, the flags dropped and the audience screamed.

Everything had changed.

The Black Parade was alive.

 


	10. Cheers for The Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like that, The Black Parade was alive.  
> But fuck, Frank was not having any of it.  
> *Mild trigger warning?*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the last chapter just came out of me like a waterfall.  
> Enjoy peeps :)

 

Gerard's point of view

_"We'll carry on.."_

 

The what's-his-face drummer let out the last pound on the drums before I screamed out,

" ** _The Black Parade is back!"_**

And, everything was changed. Warped Tour had started, and we had literally twenty minutes before we had to hit the road and fuck off to our next destination; Washington. Could I say I'd enjoyed the show? Fuck, not really. I'd been screaming half of it, the taste of tobacco still fresh on my tongue, probably my breath too, when I'd leaned into Ray and hissed lyrics in his ear. Mikey and I had been grinding against each other all show - but Frankie? I didn't touch him.

I'd been thinking of him the entire time. Ever since last night; I had been. It had me worried sick. What would happen to the tour? What if he found out? Fuck, what if they got into my head too much? Losing Lyn-Z and my fucking only child, to Frank - the man who didn't love me. He had three kids and a fucking wife who he'd die for. 

Before I knew it, the crowd was slowly dying down and I found myself walking off stage, grinning at Ray; followed by Mikey and Frank. "That was fucking amazing," Mikey exclaimed, giving me a huge hug. "I know, little bro," I said, hugging him tightly back before I moved onto Ray. Frank was in the corner and looking a little nervous; but I smiled softly and went over to him; because if I didn't he simply know something was wrong. Frankie was my best friend, after all.

"Hey," I said softly, lifting his chin up with my finger. He looked at me, petrified. What was wrong? 

"Did you hurt yourself?" I asked sympathetically, but he shook his head. 

Somehow, I found myself in a state of depression for him, in shock, because it wasn't like Frankie to do this. It was the first time since last night when I'd been able to look at him without my mind leading me into an existential wormhole of sex scenes and kisses. In this moment, for how long it would last, it was just me and Frankie, as if nothing sexual had ever happened between us, just best friends. I'd seemed to have forgotten everything in this mad, bad blur.

"Then what's wrong, then?"

"Nothing... just -"

Then he pulled me in for the tightest hug I'd ever received, burying his head into my chest. I hugged him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my chin on his head, swaying back and forth for a little while, because it seemed as if he never wanted to break free. Frank was vulnerable and sad, but I just didn't know why. I hugged him for as long as he wanted until Ray and Mikey finally pulled us apart. Even the thoughts didn't return, my mind was just full of sympathy for my best friend, replaying all the best moments from the show. I hoped it wasn't me, I really did.

"Come on, guys, we need to go," Mikey said softly, pulling us apart just a little. I looked down at Frank; he wasn't looking up, just at his feet, head still resting against my chest. That was one of the saddest moments I'd had in months; I'd never Frankie this depressed, and I hoped I'd never again. "Hey, Frankie, we can talk when we're on the bus," I said softly. He nodded his head and I pulled away, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, trailing on behind Ray and Mikey, and the security guards. Our stuff had already been loaded onto the bus, probably. The next show was in Washington, at ten tomorrow morning.

Frank didn't look up as we walked, he just gazed at his feet and rested the side of his head against my shoulder. Was he sick? No, he couldn't be. He was nothing like this when he was sick; if it was any worse than normal he would have been _screaming_ this at us by now. We followed Mikey and Ray down a long corridor lined with wardrobe racks and entrances to dressing rooms, turning left, down another shorter-but-still-quite-long hallway and out the back door of the building, leading right to where the bus was parked and about one hundred, screaming fans were being held back by security guards and metal gates. I flashed a grin at them before leading Frank and up the steps of the bus, keeping a firm grip on him, as to not let him sulk off into his bunk. I wanted to talk to him. 

"'M gonna go take a shower," muttered Mikey, tearing off his jacket and dumping it in his bunk. Ray sat on the kitchen counter, taking out his phone but not saying anything. Frank headed towards his bunk silently.

"Not so fast, Frankie," I said, grabbing his shoulder. The action made him stumble around a little and I saw his face for the first time since that hallway. Frank's eyes were red and blotchy. He'd been crying. 

"Frankie, what's wrong?" I cooed, sitting him down on the couch. He said nothing but leaned into my shoulder a little bit as he put his knees to his chest, burying his face in the sweater-covered palms of his hands. Just a few sniffles were heard. I worriedly glanced up at Ray, who was staring at the crying Frankie with concern. He looked at him as if to say, 'What the fuck do we do, he's never done this, oh god help us,'.   
"Hey hey hey, tell us what's wrong," I said, trying to lift his head up a little but he shook his head and refused to look up. I sighed, Ray now coming over and sitting down beside him. "Frankie, you can tell us anything," he said, placing a gentle hand on his knee. "Is it Jamia?"  
Frank didn't answer, but the sniffles seemed to get worse. Fuck, I was getting scared now. Never, in my entire life, had I'd seen Frankie Iero cry. I'd never even heard of him cry. If he was sad, he'd tell us. What was different now? Was it his children, or was he just nervous about the tour?   
I looked up at Ray in alarm. He looked absolutely shocked. "Frankie.." I breathed, nearly getting a little prickly myself. There were butterflies in my stomach and I was just really unsure of what to do. 

Ray eventually just got out his meds, shoved one into his hand, and sighed, leaving. "Just leave him, Gee," he muttered, looking back a little cautiously. I sighed, glancing back down at the terrified creature, and stood up. He just continued to cry, only moving to his bunk once Mikey came back from his shower. He'd furiously wiped the tears from his face, not looking at us, climbing to the top bunk and tearing the curtain shut.

He cried a lot that night.

 


	11. Dismay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frankie's fallen into a hole of depression, heartbreak, and broken feelings for his best friend.  
> Gerard is slowly realising what is happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm procrastinating packing for my Dad's by writing this.   
> Hope you're enjoying this so far, don't really know where this story is going but I promise this won't go unfinished.

Frank's point of view

I don't know what I was thinking.

One minute I'd finished the show, the next, I was buried in Gerard's arms, crying as if though I'd just told him everything, and now I was just letting it out. But I hadn't let it out, had I? I was completely overwhelmed by angst and fear and frustration... and _love._

I'd now truly realized that I loved him, but I couldn't tell him; I couldn't possibly tell _anyone,_ and now there was nothing left to do but cry and mope and just be fucking depressed all day. I'd sloped off to my bunk once Mikey had gotten out of the shower. I knew that his concern would just cause more drama. Besides, in my bunk I was free to do whatever I liked; think of Gerard without him being all in my face, cry without having to bury my face in my eyes, and just fucking sleep. I hadn't slept at all last night, and now it was all coming back to me. Leading up to the show I hadn't been very tired because I was energized for the show, during the show I was on stage and just kind of 'in the moment' but now, on the bus, on the way to Washington, I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. 

I woke up a few hours later, at ten, and I expected everyone to be asleep but there were still lights on and I could hear conversation from the kitchen, not the bunks. I'd left my phone, and pretty much everything I brought with me out there, so to retrieve it I had to actually leave my bunk. This was going to be difficult.

"Hey, Frankie," Mikey mumbled softly, patting my shoulder, as I groggily trudged out to the kitchen; obviously the boys had filled him in on my little 'meltdown'. Gerard and Ray were sitting on the counter and turned their heads when they heard me. Gerard smiled softly at me, sliding down from the bench and giving me a little hug. "You okay, Frankie?" he mumbled into my back. I nodded a little but broke free from the hug, not making eye contact as I just grabbed my stuff, slinging my bag over the shoulder and unplugging my phone; that one of them had obviously put on charge for me. Gerard sighed, giving me a look of sympathy as I headed past. I just returned to my bunk, shoving my backpack in the corner, and going on my phone. Going through old photos. Pictures of the kids. Trying to get my mind off Gerard, and to my kids, and wife, in hopes that seeing their faces would help.

It didn't. When I looked at Jamia, all I saw was the woman I lived with. I didn't think of her romantically at all. I was losing the love I had for her; the love I thought would never ever end, even when I had the affair, I still at least had  _some_ thoughts about her. But now, I doubted I even loved her at all.   
I looked at my children and saw kids that would be broken, disappointed, depressed. My mind wouldn't stop thinking about one word.

_Divorce._

I'd known that word before. My parents had divorced, many years ago when I was young. It was horrible; having to watch all of their fights and arguments and seeing my Mom walk out of the house almost every night; my Dad, who I'd taken a liking to when I was three, repeating the same statement over and over again; _'She'll move out and get her own place soon'._ I wondered if that's what Jamia would say to Cherry, Lily, and Miles, and none of them expecting it to happen so quickly...like I did. When I was three, I'd thought it would happen years later. Years and years later, and everything would be okay because I'd be out of the house by then. But no, it happened in what felt like days but was probably just a couple of months, my Dad kicking my Mom out of the house as if she was nothing. 

If I knew one thing, it's that I would never, ever, kick Jamia out of my house like that. I would never intentionally make my children feel that way. I wouldn't let them grow up in a self-degrading state of hate and shame and whatever fucking feelings I was feeling right now. They would never get into smoking like I had, or alcohol, like Gerard, had. Cherry and Lily and Miles would grow up into the most wonderful children with the loveliest parents; who _loved each other_. They wouldn't have to go to court to be able to see them every month. 

My children would not grow up like I had.

But fuck, right now I was doubting any of that would be true by the time tour was over.

"Frank.." a voice interrupted. I looked over with bleary eyes, seeing that it was Gerard, who had pulled the curtain back and was now poking a face of concern into my bunk. Complete misery washed over me, just at the sight of him, but I quickly turned back to gaze at the ceiling like I had been. 

"What?" I muttered, trying my hardest to keep my mind from trailing off into... _those_ thoughts. Gerard sighed and climbed up further, nudging my hip a little. He was obviously trying to climb in with me. 

Like fuck, that was not happening. 

I sat up abruptly, and Gerard looked a little shocked, but nevertheless, sat beside me and held my hand. "What's going on?" he asked softly, looking down with glassy, concerned eyes. I ducked my head quickly when our pupils locked, and I squeezed my hand tighter. He knew it was him, now. Gerard would never leave me alone until I told him.  
"I'm fine," I sniffed.  
"You're obviously not, Frankie,"  
"I'll be okay."  
"Is it me?" 

I hesitated to answer this one. Basically, I'd just given Gerard his answer. Yes, it was him. If he hadn't known before, he definitely did, now.  
"It... it is?" he said shakily, tearing his hand away temporarily. I glanced up, terrified, to see tears welling up in his eyes and wobbling lips.   
"Gerard.."   
I thought he would run away, and that this would be just like a fairytale, and I'd have to run after him and pronounce my true love for him.  
But he didn't go.  
"I.."   
I didn't know what to say. All this fear, and love, and frustration, it was like a bomb slowly ticking down, and I was ready to explode.  
But, eventually, I let it go off.  
Not in the way I would like it. 

"I'm leaving Jamia."

 


	12. The D-Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frankie is more depressed than ever, and now that part of his secret's out, how long will it take until the rest of it comes out?

 

Gerard's point of view

"Wh-what?" I stammered, at a loss for words. Frank was leaving Jamia? 

"I.. I don't love her the w-way I used to.." he sobbed, before breaking down into tears.   
I wrapped an arm around his shoulder, letting a single tear roll down my cheek as I pulled him closer. Frank loudly cried on my shoulder, letting it all out, probably attracting unwanted attention from Ray and Mikey. There was no need to talk about it anymore. No doubt the rest of the story would get out sooner or later.  
"I- I want t-to tell her...tell h-her now.." he sobbed, voice cracking, glancing up at me. I just nodded, and pulled him even closer, resting my chin on his head as he took out his phone.

I didn't know how to feel, or what to do, or how to react, as I watched Frank's trembling, inked fingers shakily dial Jamia's number. Tears were now streaming down my face, now, and dropping onto his shirt, but fuck, I didn't care, he'd just snotted all over my leather jacket.   
"What time is it there?" I whispered, the phone still ringing.   
"S-same time.." Frank sobbed.   
I nodded, gently rubbing his shoulder. Ray and Mikey's heads poked around the curtain, looking at Frank as if he was an alien.   
"Jamia," I mouthed, trying not to move my head. Frank hadn't seemed to notice and their presence just could have made matters worse. The boys nodded, still looking worriedly, but left silently. Frank slammed his phone down, no answer.  
"Call her tomorrow, Frankie," I said softly.  
"You might feel different."  
"I won't." He snapped, a little louder, and more defensive than I imagine he'd expected. He just broke down again, nuzzling into my shoulder.   
"I-I just.."  
"Shush, let it out," I cooed, rubbing his trembling back.   
"I...I just... I d-don't know wh-what will...happen t-to.. the k-k-kids.." he cried, leaning into me.   
"Frankie, we can talk about that later," I said, lifting his chin up. I gazed into his crying eyes, staring at his trembling, pink lips...  
"Why are you leaving her?"   
Frankie just looked down, still crying, and buried his face in his hands.  
"I-I can't.."  
"Can't what?"  
"I can't tell you,"  
"What?"

Frankie had always told me everything. He always told me _first._  
What had happened? Had he cheated?   
  
Cheated...  
  
_I pressed a kiss to Frankie's forehead, lying in his bunk with our arms and legs tangled up. Last night was rare, we didn't have sex. Because one, our hotel night was tonight and I'd been saving my energy for putting on a good show. Two, because Jamia had cheated on him._  
The news had come fast and furious, a text from an unknown number; a picture of Jamia and a man in bed. Frankie had broke down, and I believed that if I hadn't been there, he would have gone and broken up with her.   
"It'll be okay," I reassured him, cuddling him closer. He pressed his cheek into my collarbone, murmuring something I couldn't quite make out. "I promise," I whispered, feeling Frank smile against my chest. "Just remember, that I will always be there," I said, pressing another kiss to his forehead and lying back in bed. "I love you, Gerard," a muffled voice emerged.   
I smiled to myself, glancing down at the heartbroken boy and feeling my heart sing. That was the first time he'd said that to me. Ever.  
"I love you too, Frankie."

I felt my mouth run dry, as the memories came flooding back. The bunk, the kisses, the cheating... did Frankie..? No...  
"I can't tell you, Gerard," Frank said, only a little sniffly now.   
I didn't hear him. My heart was pounding so hard he could probably hear it. Sweat dripped down my forehead and my blood ran cold, I could feel my face getting hot.  
Frank glanced up at me, probably expecting an answer, but I did the uminaginable.   
  
I got out of the bunk, and left him.  
  


Thud.

"FRANKIE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short; and I didn't know where this chapter was really going until that twist at the end. I never plan writing and I guess it might show in this. I promise I will try my best for the next chapter, I have some ideas for it :))


	13. Ambulance Sirens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And suddenly, his world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning; involves ambulances and mentions a needle and also an unconscious Frankie.  
> :(

Gerard's point of view

 

Ray and Mikey came crashing in, gasping at the sight. 

Frank, unconscious on the floor of the bus, lying flat on his face and not moving.   
  
"Frankie, wake up!" I cried, collapsing on the floor next to him and pleading him to get up. "Call fucking 911! Stop the fucking bus!" I screamed, cupping Frank's pale, dead face and crying into his chest. "Frankie, I'm so sorry," I pleaded. As if I'd get an answer. I felt the bus swerve hastily to the right and a horn going off somewhere in the distance, and Ray came bounding back from the driver and Mikey shakily dialed 911 on his cellphone.   
  


"Get him on the bed," Ray said, voice cracking a little at the sight of his face. I nodded, trembling all over, as I gently lifted his waist and legs; Ray lifting his head, and rolled him onto the bed. "He's not waking up," I cried, tearing off my jacket and putting it over him. Ray pressed a shaking hand to his forehead, and I saw tears falling from his eyes.   
"My bandmate just fainted on our tour bus," I heard Mikey sob in the distance, on the phone with 911. Spencer, the bus driver, gently looked him over, occasionally giving Mikey details on where we were; just into Baltimore. I just cried and cried into his chest, and when the paramedics didn't come for another twenty minutes, and Spencer had to take his pulse, I just lost it. Spencer took his _fucking pulse._ Frankie could die.   
"Frankie, baby, wake up," I cried, clutching onto his jacket sleeve, shaking him. He was breathing but they weren't steady, his heart was beating but I was fearing that it would stop. "It'll be okay," Spencer assured me, but I didn't take any notice. Frankie had just _collapsed.  
_ "What time is it in New Jersey?" Mikey asked shakily from behind me.  
"S-same t-time," I replied, wiping a single tear that had dropped onto his face. "Frankie.. wake _up,_ " I whispered, stroking his hair back and holding his hand. It was cold and felt like ice against my skin, but I ignored that and just concentrated on watching his breathing.   
Ray and Mikey were discussing what sounded like calling Jamia, which I really couldn't really _not_ defend. She was still his wife, no matter what Frank had been planning. 

  
Ten minutes had passed by now, even though it felt like ten hours, and still no sign of Frankie waking up anytime soon.   
"What happened?" Spencer asked, checking his pulse again.   
"I..I d-don't know.." I sniffled, not breaking eye contact with his face. I'd been watching him for so long I'd counted his eyelashes and traced his cheekbones and smoothed his perfect little eyebrows. "I-I just... left him crying... and then.. he f-fainted from beh-hind me.."   
  


I hadn't forgotten about what I'd been thinking about, but right now my sex affair with Frank ten years ago in this same bus, was the least of my worries. I just needed to see him awake, to gaze into his beautiful eyes again.   
"What had he been doing before he fainted?" Spencer asked, giving his arm a supportive squeeze. Ray and Mikey were crying behind me now, too, to make matters worse. I'd never been so fucking scared in my life.  
"I.. he was c-crying," I sobbed, checking his breathing once again. His chest was slowly moving up and down, but I still couldn't relax.

_Frankie wasn't waking up._   
  


"Baby, please.." I whispered, jumping as there was a pound on the side of the bus. "Give him space," ordered Spencer, waving his hands at us as paramedics filed in. I cried into Mikey's shoulder, watching on as they pounced on top of Frankie. They pulled the curtain half shut so that we couldn't see what they were doing. Fuck, if I could have punched the paramedics who did that in the face right then, I would've.   
Spencer was with the paramedics, chewing his fingernails anxiously. Ray gently came and sat down, holding my hand supportively and wiping the tears away furiously. What the fuck was happening?

"Is he okay?" I sniffled. One of the paramedics looked up at me. "He'll be fine, kid, he'll wake up soon, but we need to bring him in for a check-up," he said, handing me a form. Frankie was being carried out on a stretcher. "F-fuck, yeah.. okay," I sobbed. "We'll have to cancel tomorrow's show, then," Ray muttered, squeezing my hand. I nodded but sighed, I didn't need the extra stress on top of that. I wiped tears away as I watched the paramedics carefully take him down the steps and out of the tourbus.   
"You can get those forms done, in the ambulance, Gerard," Spencer told me. I stood up, trying to stop crying but really, I was dying on the inside. "He-he's going in an ambulance?" I whispered, Spencer helping me to the exit. "Yes," he admitted, standing me up straight. "We'll go find a hotel or something, Gee," Mikey said, from behind him.   
"Now hurry up, he needs you," Spencer said, leading me out of the tourbus, where the ambulance was being packed up. 

I wandered out into the rain with the forms, getting into the back of the ambulance without even glancing at him. I'd just burst into tears if I did, seeing Frankie all strapped us, eyes closed and probably some sort of needle in his arm. I hated needles, fuck that.   
  


_Full Name: Frank Anthony Iero, Jr._

_D/O/B: October 31st, 1981_

_Address: 123 Sunnyville Bouvleyard, New Jersey, 07109..._

I filled out the forms with shaky hands, biting my lip as I filled out the part where I had to explain what had happened.  _"...had been crying in his bunk, left to grab a glass of water for him and heard a loud thud from behind as I exited the bunk. I saw him lying on the bus floor, face first, unconscious."_

That wasn't completely true; I hadn't left to get him water, but I felt as if I wouldn't really get much empathy if the whole world knew that I'd abandoned Frank Iero when he'd been crying over his wife. Not exactly 'good coverage', I could say.

When the forms were done, I slammed down the pen and glanced up at him, feeling a bump as we, I guessed, arrived at the hospital. I heard doors from up front slam and footsteps padding across wet ground, seeing light stream through opening doors and hands reach in to pull the unconscious boy out. I gripped the edge of the stretcher, beginning to cry, not even bothering to shut the doors. 

"Don't leave me, Frankie," I sobbed.

"I love you." 

 

 


	14. Lifelines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tour dates are cancelled and Gerard, Ray and Mikey are fearing for the worst.  
> Will My Chemical Romance be able to march on?

Frank's point of view

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Okay, that was unusual. I'm pretty sure Ray's alarm wasn't set to make a heart monitor sound.. and my bunk bed wasn't.. am I in a hospital? My eyes snapped open and I sat up a little, propping myself up on my elbows and looking around. This wasn't the tour bus...

"Frankie?" a voice from next to me cried.

I looked over and saw Gerard; who had been crying, standing up from where he had been sitting in an armchair, by a window. 

"Gee? Wh-what's happening?" I asked, a little scared. Had there been an accident? Were Mikey and Ray fine? 

Gerard reached out for my hand, standing over my bed. I took it weakly, smiling up at him graciously. "You're in the hospital, Frankie. I thought you'd never wake up," he sobbed, wiping away tears gently, with his free hand. What had happened? 

I couldn't ask him, as from around a white curtain stepped in a doctor, with a clipboard and foldable chair. "Frank," he said, sitting down next to the bed. "How are you? You're awake now, I see."   
  


"'M good."

"Now you seemed to have a little accident. Can you remember what happened?"

To be honest, I couldn't, and I nearly had a panic attack. Had I hit my head and got amnesia? No, that's not possible... was it?

"Frank?" The doctor asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I quickly looked up and he was waiting expectantly, tapping his pen against the clipboard. "Um,

"Uh, no," I replied.

He nodded, scrawling something down, and looking up again. I kept my grip on Gerard's hand; he was sniffling a little from beside me. 

"What was the last thing you remembered?"

I did know this one. 

"I was crying... in my bunk... with... with Gerard," I said that last part hesitantly, worried that maybe, Gerard would get in trouble for this. But if he had done anything to cause this, I don't think he'd be standing next to me, crying. Well, unless he'd gone to jail for several years and I'd just woken up from a coma when after he'd gotten out. To make sure Gerard was fine with this, I looked up at him, still clutching his hand. He just nodded down at me, smiling softly. "It's okay," he whispered.

Turning back to the doctor, he was nodding and writing something down. "Did you remember feeling dizzy, at all?"

I shook my head.

"Any nausea?"

"Nope,"

"Okay. Well, Frank, you just had a nasty fall from your bunk bed. It's not too serious, though. Are  you in pain anywhere, however?"

"No, don't think so," I replied. The 'nasty fall' did seem scary though. 

The doctor nodded, putting the pen down and standing up. "Thank you for your time, Frank." he said. "A nurse will come by soon to give you your meds. Your friend here has filled out the forms, thankfully, so we know what's up. You are perfectly fine and well, but we do recommend you don't play the next two shows. If you have any pain, come back, but if not, you will be discharged this afternoon." he explained.

I nodded. "Thank you," Gerard said, shaking his hand. He sighed, looking back down at me, dragging the chair over and sitting down. "You got lucky, Frankie," he said softly, and tearfully. He placed his other hand over mine, gripping it tightly and squeezing. "I really thought you were gonna leave me," he whispered. I then saw tears spill, streaming down his cheeks. "You could have died, Frankie,"   
"I've nearly died before this,"   
"That was different. This would have been my fault."  
"Your fault?"  
"Do you remember what you were crying over?"  
"N- yes..."

Gerard looked in my eyes. "Frankie, were you serious? Were you gonna leave Jamia?"

I just looked down. This was a difficult question. He had been right, I did feel a little different. It was just stronger. Feeling Gerard's grip around my hand, his soft, delicate fingers intertwined with mine; it was a different kind of love, less depressing, less heartbreaking. More passionate, and fluffy, and sweet. Because this time, we weren't both drowing in tears, we were smiling through tears of joy and happiness; for me being alive right now. Sooner or later it would go back, but right now, in that moment, my love for Gerard had never been stronger, and I wanted it to last forever. So yes, I did want to break up with Jamia.

"Yes." I replied.

Gerard nodded, taking it in, and squeezing tighter. "Frankie, whatever decision you make, I stand beside you -"

"Why did you leave me then?"

Holy shit. Did I just say that? I just blurted it out - oh, fuck. Gerard just stopped everything, loosening his grip gently, but not letting go. He just looked at his feet; looking so depressed but so beautiful I just wanted to say sorry and hug him forever.   
"Gerard, I-"

"No. I.. I left... because I was... scared,"

"Scared of what?"

"Scared that... that I would just end up telling you everything.."

"Everything?"

"I love you, Frankie. More than just a friend. I really, really love you."

WHAT?! Did he.. did he just say that? Gerard... Gerard loved me? Holy fucking shit. 

I just broke down, smiling through the tears, watching a grin slowly break out on his face. "I love you too, Gerard. That's the reason I wanted to leave her. I love you more." 

And at that moment, I just felt a huge weight drop off my shoulders, and feeling Gerard's warm arms wrap around my body and embrace me in the best hug I'd ever gotten, everything in the world seemed right. 

And walking out of that hospital, with Gerard right by my side, holding my hand tightly, nothing in the world could have seemed better. My Chemical Romance was back together, we were on tour, meeting the fans, and, mostly, because Gerard and I were together. Like, properly together. Fuck Jamia. Fuck Lyn-Z. Fuck all those homophobics.

We set off on the road, to meet Ray and Mikey in Virginia for our second show, Gerard and I; just two beings in love. 

And fuck, I'd never been happier. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, the end! I'm sorry if you wanted more; but I'll be posting more fanfics in the future (starting one tonight, hopefully) so feel free to follow me, or bookmark this. Thank you for the supportive feedback, all the kudos, and the hits! On Wattpad I never got a single like, and I got about six views. 
> 
> Much love xo

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction (on this site at least) so I'd appreciate constructive feedback. I'm only Year Eight and doing Year Eleven writing, so I suppose this is better than it could be.


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